4 Months Home

Joshua has now been home with us for almost 4 months and will be 18 months old in less than 2 weeks.  It feels like he has always been a part of our family.  I really don’t remember what life was like without him.  He has been so much fun to have around and fits in so well with our family.  I wondered for a long time what it would be like when we brought Joshua home.  I wondered if it would just feel like I was babysitting someone else’s child for a while, but I have never felt that even from day one.  I guess you can say it was love at first sight.  I know Joshua was always meant to be part of our family.  I don’t feel any differently towards him than I do my girls.  I even forget that he didn’t start out his life in our family.  It is amazing how much he has changed since we first brought him home.

When we first came home communication was a bit of a challenge because he only knew Tagalog.  I quickly learned some important words in Tagalog like “stop that right now”, “are you hungry”, “are you sleepy” and a few others.  Jason still speaks to him in Tagalog on occasion but I think he has already forgotten a lot and seems to be understanding English quite well.  We have been teaching him american sign language to help bridge the gap between the two languages and he loves it.  We have some really cute DVDs that help teach sign along with music and animations.  He has learned quite a lot of signs and has even started saying some words.  His first word was “no”, probably because I tend to say that one the most.  Yesterday when he was watching his signing videos he learned the sign for “ball” and actually started saying it.  He was so proud of himself and he has been practicing it along with the sign all day today.  He has been trying to say a lot more words as he learns the signs.  It is pretty cute to watch him.  We have been working on animal sounds because he thinks everything says “roar” even fish.  

He loves books and loves sitting in my lap to read his favorites over and over again.  When he first came home he didn’t even know what a book was or that it even opened.  He loves paper, especially ripping paper, and unfortunately ripped one of Breanna’s art projects from school into tiny little shreds all over the living room in just a matter of minutes.  He is very fast and very busy.  He recently learned how to climb and has been climbing everything to get into even more things he shouldn’t have.

We are still having issues with him having tantrums for food whenever he even thinks about food, but they are getting less and not so bad.  He doesn’t throw himself backwards quite as often and he is more careful about where he lands when he does.  After we first brought him home we bought an Amby Baby Hammock to sleep in but he quickly outgrew it but he sure did love bouncing that thing.  We actually moved him to a toddler bed a couple weeks ago.  He wasn’t happy with the change at first but now he loves his little bed.  He has fallen out of it a couple times but it usually doesn’t even wake him up.  He still has to have a bottle to go to sleep but we will hopefully be able to wean him off that soon.

Physically he hasn’t changed too much.  He looks older to me and has a few more teeth but he weighs the same and has only grown about an inch.  He is still in 12 month clothing but can wear 18 month shirts.  His health has been a lot better.  I have him on a really good diet and because he loves food so much, he will pretty much eat everything.  When we first brought him home he wouldn’t eat anything cold or even room temperature, but that doesn’t seem to bother him at all now.

We have already had 2 visits from our social worker and have one more at the end of July and then we will be able to complete his adoption by going to court and having it finalized.  Then he will officially be a Stewart and we will be able to have him blessed and go to the temple to be sealed to us.  Our social worker was very impressed with how well he has adjusted and bonded with us already.  

He really is a very smart loving little boy.  He seems to catch on to things really quickly, which reminds me a lot of Breanna when she was his age.  He also loves to give hugs and will sneak up behind me in the kitchen and hug my legs or put his head on my lap and hug my leg when I am sitting down.  He also just started folding his arms when we say prayers.  He loves going outside and exploring everything he can.  He especially loves walking down the middle of the street for some reason.  He definitely keeps me busy, but I can’t imagine my life without him.

First Days Home

When we picked Joshua up at the orphanage he sounded pretty congested and had a little cough but after coming home and visiting the doctor we found out that he had a double ear infection also.  That would explain why we had such a miserable plane ride home, poor little guy.  He was so good for us in the Philippines, with only a few tantrums only when he was hungry or tired.  We were even able to take him to the mall a couple of times and even the aquarium.  He seemed to love going out and exploring new places.  He never cried when we were out.  Then it came time for our plane ride home.  We had an 8 hour layover in Taiwan after our 3 hour flight from Manila and then another 10 hours of flying home to Seattle.  That made for a really long day/days.  We tried to get Joshua to take a nap in his stroller while we were waiting at the airport in Taiwan, but he was way too distracted to sleep.  I wasn’t feeling very well either and was pretty tired.  Luckily there was a hotel inside the airport so we rented a room for a few hours and both me and Joshua were able take a little nap.  I didn’t realize at the time how much I was going to need that nap.  Because of his ear infections and all the distractions, Joshua didn’t sleep for more than a couple hours the whole way home.  Jason and I took turns holding him and walking him up and down the aisles while the other person tried to sleep.  Needless to say it was a really long trip.  Here he is pretty happy before we left the Manila airport.  That plane trip was actually very pleasant.

Jason’s dad picked us up at the airport and because we had to go through immigration and have someone look over all of Joshua’s paperwork, we didn’t get home until after 8pm.  The girls were patiently waiting for us to get home along with my mom, who was so nice to come and stay with the girls while we were gone.  They made a nice “Welcome Home” sign for us and Joshua and even had flowers for us.  Joshua took a good nap on the way from the airport to our house, so he was actually somewhat happy when we got home.  The girls were so excited to meet him and followed him around wherever he went and laughed at every little thing he did.  They were so excited to show him his new toys and everything else around the house.

I don’t really remember a lot about the first few days we were home with him.  I got really sick and had a fever and was pretty tired and dizzy from the jet lag.  Joshua was also pretty sick and miserable.  Thank goodness we had my mom with us for an additional week.  She helped out so much.  I know she was frustrated at times, not knowing what she could do to help, but she did a lot more than I think she realized.  I think there was a short while where Joshua treated my mom and myself as if we were his caregivers from the orphanage.  Every time either of us walked in the room he would throw himself backwards and throw a tantrum expecting us to give him food or a bottle.  He wouldn’t do it with Jason or the girls, just my mom and I.  I’m not sure how they did things in the orphanage, but I have a feeling they comforted the kids a lot with food and bottles because he definitely seemed to expect it from us.  He also started waking up every couple hours at night screaming until he got a bottle.  We eventually had to wean him off the bottle at nighttime so we could get some sleep.  It only took a couple nights of him screaming for about 10 minutes several times and he has been fine ever since.  

Another quirk that we can’t figure out is that Joshua was deathly afraid of water.  We tried to give him a bath and he screamed like he was going to die.  He wouldn’t even touch the water.  I’m thinking they just used a sponge in a little tub in the sink and never used running water or something like that.  I decided to put my Occupational Therapy education to good use and slowly get him use to water by making it fun.  We got some towels out and a couple bowls of water and lots of toys and sat down on the kitchen floor with the girls and with Joshua in Jason’s lap and we all played in the water while he watched.  After about an hour he finally reached in the bowl to get his favorite ball that had sunk to the bottom.  I guess he realized that wasn’t so bad and eventually he was splashing around and having a blast.  The next step was me getting in the bathtub with him the next day with the bowls of water and we slowly started to fill the tub up.  He cried getting in the tub but was fine after a little bit and played as long as he was in my lap.  The next time I got in with him but slowly got him off my lap and he was ok as long as I was close by.  We did this a couple times and now he will take a bath with his sisters and seems to really enjoy it.  Now maybe we will be able to take him swimming this summer.  

Here are some photos of Joshua’s first time playing in water:

Here’s one of my mom with Joshua the day she had to fly home:

The girls were so sad to see her go.  They sure enjoyed having her here.  About a week after she left us we had a “Welcome Home Joshua” party for our friends and family to come and meet him.  My Filipino neighbor made some Filipino food and I made some also and we showed everyone Joshua’s life book.  We got a lot of nice gifts for him and even got some bags full of nice hand-me-downs which I was very thankful for.  Between those things and all the clothes my sister has sent, I don’t think I’ll ever need to buy him clothes.  Joshua did really well at the party.  We made it an open house so there weren’t too many people there at once.  He is a very social little guy and seemed to love the attention.  He gets shy when he first meets someone but it doesn’t take him long to warm up and become their best bud.

Gotcha Day

In the adoption world “Gotcha Day” is the day you get to pick up your child from the orphanage.  For us, this was also the first time we got to meet Joshua.  Our Gotcha Day was January 30, 2012.  Here’s the journal entry I wrote to Joshua about this special day:

January 31, 2012

We had a very long morning yesterday waiting to pick you up.  We didn’t get picked up until around 12:30pm, so we had a lot of time to sit around and get anxious.  I made daddy take a walk with me to get some of my nerves out.  The drive to your orphanage seemed to take forever too.  Jacky, another social worker that works with Che, is the one who ended up taking us with a driver.  She was super nice and took videos of the whole day for us.  When we got to White Cross we went to meet your social worker who told us a little about you and then we went to the office to take our donations.  Then we had to wait about 15 minutes because you had just woken up from your nap and were getting changed and ready to meet us.  One of your caretakers brought you down and handed you to daddy.  You arched your back which is how you say you don’t like something, because you didn’t want to leave your caretaker.  You were fine on daddy’s lap and then I held you and you seemed fine.  You were fascinated by everything in the office.  I don’t think you had ever been in there before or really anywhere else in the orphanage outside of your room.  I put you down to see you walk and you just took off and started exploring everything.  You sure don’t like to be held much.  I think it’s because there is just too much to explore and do you don’t have time for it.  We followed you around for awhile as you wandered around the orphanage and then went up to go see where you have been living.  We got to see the room for infants newborn-12 months old and saw your crib, which we were told you like to rock back and forth to move closer to the other kids so you can play with them.  You were suppose to move to the toddler room for 12 month olds-2 year olds, but I guess you refused to move and wouldn’t sleep in your new crib so they moved you back to the infant room.  We got to meet all your friends in the infant room.  There were so many beautiful children.  Then we met your friends/batch mates in the toddler room.  They were just being fed a snack when we got there, so they gave us some crackers to give to you.  You were much too busy exploring life outside the crib to bother with snacks though.  We then had a Catholic Turning Over Ceremony.  This is where the Priest turns over the parental rights to us.  It was a very nice ceremony even though it was different from how our church does things.  The Priest had a lot of really nice things to say about us becoming a family and how we must have a lot of love for each other to open our hearts to you.  Daddy shared some nice words in Tagalog to those in attendance of our thankfulness to them for caring for you and for the blessing of being able to have you join our family.  We then took some pictures with the Priest, founders of your orphanage, administrative director, and some of the older orphans.  There were a lot of caretakers who cared a lot about you and had tears in their eyes as they said their goodbyes.  One of them told us that you were her and her sister’s favorite child at the orphanage and they were going to miss you so much.  They prepared a lunch of spaghetti and bread for us and you.  I think you only had a couple bites because you were still way too interested in everything around you to bother with eating.  They gave us a very nice Life Book with photos of you when you were a baby and were baptized and with your friends and caretakers.  They also included your schedule and the foods you like to eat.  They gave us a backpack full of clothes, diapers, vitamins, formula, a couple bottles and all the stuff we had sent.  We then gathered all your things, said our goodbyes and headed back to our condo with you.  I think you really enjoyed the car ride.  You liked looking out the window at all the cars, buildings, and trees.  You then relaxed and fell asleep in my arms.  I’m sure you must have been pretty tired after such a busy afternoon with so many new things.

I really wish we could have spent the whole day at the orphanage, so we could see how everything was done in order to better understand Joshua and his routines.  It all just seems like a blur when I look back on it.  It seemed so strange to leave the orphanage with Joshua after just meeting him.  I was so worried about him not adjusting very well or freaking out once he realized nothing was ever going to be the same again.  He is such an amazing little boy though.  He has adjusted so beautifully into our life.  After leaving the orphanage he took a little nap and then explored our condo.  He was a little unsure of everything, but seemed pretty happy once he found the toys.  There was a little soft rug that he loved and a scratchy one that he hated and would avoid at all cost.  He discovered the pillows on our bed and was in pillow heaven.  He kept running and jumping into the pillows laughing.  He eventually just laid down on the hard floor and fell asleep.  He didn’t ever cry that whole first day we had with him.  He woke up in the middle of the night crying, probably wondering where he was but went right back to sleep after giving him a bottle.  I put him in bed with me and kept trying to put my hand on him but he wouldn’t let me.  He did not like being touched while he was sleeping, which is funny because now when he comes into my bed he pretty much sleeps on top of me or snuggled up next to me. Looking back now, I am shocked that he adjusted so well to us that first day and beyond, because he does not like change and we pretty much took him away from everything that was familiar and all his routines and everyone he loved, all at once.  I would have freaked out.  Maybe he was so distracted by all the new things that he didn’t have time to think about what he was missing or maybe it was from all the extra prayers from family and friends as we made this transition.  Whatever it was, I am very thankful because it made the adjustment so much easier and allowed us to bond at a much faster rate.  I am so thankful for our special little guy.  He is so smart and sweet and I love him more than I ever thought possible.  I will forever be thankful that we were blessed to have him in our life.  He was definitely worth waiting for.

Our Trip

I feel horrible that it has taken me so long to post since we went to pick up Joshua.  I do have some pretty good excuses though.  Besides adjusting to life with a very active toddler I have also had some serious health related issues I have been dealing with.  About a month after bringing Joshua home I started having horrible reactions to the foods I was eating and found out that I have Leaky Gut Syndrome.  I won’t go into a lot of detail other than to say that I have been very sick.  Luckily I found a really good Naturopath who is helping me to heal so I can eat normal foods again.  I am getting a little better and a little stronger every day, but it has been quite the struggle for me.  I have had very little energy and have to spend a lot of time cooking my special diet, so I don’t have much time for anything else except for the most important things.  I will try to blog more often now that I am getting my energy back, but no promises.

While we were in the Philippines I wrote in a journal every day so I could one day share all those experiences with Joshua.  I thought of sharing them here, but not sure if I will ever get around to it so for now I’ll just give a quick summary.  We were there for 2 weeks and spent the first few days in Bohol, which is one of the many beautiful islands in the Philippines.  It was a bit of a culture shock for me, since I have never been outside the US(other than Canada).  I am so glad we had so much time to spend before picking up Joshua, because we were able to do so much more than if we had him with us.  We pretty much walked everywhere and took the public transportation which allowed us to see so much more of the culture and all the things you miss from the inside of a car.  We did a lot of shopping at markets that most foreigners tend to stay away from.  I was never really scared except for one night when we came out of a giant indoor market and walked right into one of the largest outdoor night markets in the world.  We had a difficult time finding transportation and had to walk a ways through crowds and crowds of people.  The hardest thing for me to see while we were in Manila, were the dirty little street children and babies.  There were some who would approach us begging for money and it was so hard for me not to give them everything I had.  We visited one other orphanage besides Joshua’s and both were very clean and you could tell that the children were very well fed and well cared for.  There were so many beautiful children.  It made me want to take them all home with me.  The greatest lesson I learned from my experience in the Philippines was how you don’t need much to be happy.  Most people in the Philippines live such simple lives, having only the necessities, and spend a lot of time with their families just enjoying being together.  I realized, after coming home, how many things I own that I really don’t need.  The simple things in life really are the most important.  I guess with my health problems I have been having, that has also taught me to appreciate the simple things in life and to take the time to enjoy each and every moment I have with my family and those I love.

Flight Plans

Our Sweet Little Joshua,

We found out just before Christmas that you were scheduled for your medical appointment and will be having your visa interview on Jan. 11th.  We weren’t suppose to get tickets until after the interview, but tickets were getting pretty pricy so we decided since we are staying in the Philippines for a couple weeks that we could take the chance.  As long as your interview goes well, your visa will be issued within 10 days.  We will be leaving at 1am on January 18th.  We decided that we will be spending the first few days in Bohol, which is another island in the Philippines.  Since it was only an extra $100 to fly to another island from Manila, we decided to take the opportunity to see another part of the Philippines.  We will then spend 6 days in Makati in Manila, which is where all the malls and tourist things are.  We decided to do as much of the tourist type stuff before we pick you up.  We will then visit your orphanage and pick you up on January 30th and have you for 5 days before we fly home with you.  We will be staying at a much more relaxing setting once we pick you up.  It is more like a resort and there are lots of fun things we will have available there to do with you.  They have a really fun kiddie pool, a playground, a giant sandbox, walking paths through gardens, and a picnic/bbq area.  We will have our own kitchen too, so we will not need to go anywhere if you are not feeling up to it.  We have no idea how you are going to react to us and how long it will take for you to get use to us, so we are going to try to make things as relaxing and easy going as possible.  I know the transition can be pretty tough for a lot of kids, so we are not counting on you warming up to us right away(although it would be nice).  I’m sure it will not be easy for you to leave the only place you have ever known and all those who you love.  I’m sure you have no idea what is about to happen and we pray that the transition will go as smoothly as possible and you will receive the comfort and strength that you need to get through it.  We are sure getting excited and anxious to meet you!  I’m not sure if I will be getting much sleep between now and when we meet you, but I’m staying busy enough getting ready to keep my mind off of it.  We will be seeing you soon!

Love,

Mommy  

Happy First Birthday

Our Sweet Little Joshua,

Today is your first birthday and I feel so sad that we cannot be there to celebrate it with you.  I wonder what you are doing today.  Is the orphanage going to throw you a little party?  I sure hope they make this day very special for you.  It does give me comfort to think that at least you get to spend the day surrounded by all those you love and who have taken such good care of you the first year of your life.  I guess they really do deserve to have this special moment with you.  I shouldn’t be so selfish to wish that away from them or from you, when we will get to spend so many more birthdays with you for years to come.  

Just know we are thinking of you today and every day, but a little more today.  Your sisters want to do something to celebrate here without you.  We may light some candles for you and have a little treat or something.  We found out today that the Embassy has finished processing your I800 and now Che can get your visa appointments set up.  As soon as we find out the dates of those appointments then we will know when we will be traveling to come and get you.  It should be about 2 weeks after your appointments.  We have been thinking for awhile that it would be January 16th or 17th.  I guess we will soon find out!  We love you lots and hope that you have the best birthday ever!

Sending you lots of love and hugs and kisses on your special day!

Love,

Mommy

Getting Closer

Our Sweet Little Joshua,

This has been such a great week!  Our kitchen is finally being put back together and should be finished by the end of the week.  The package we sent you finally made it and our agency’s Liason, Che, was able to bring you the package and even took some pictures to send to us.  That was such a fun surprise to get to see new photos of you.  It looks like you enjoyed your presents and the clothes we sent seem to fit you, so I’m excited about that.  The photo above is what the baby room at your orphanage looks like.  I’m so excited to get to meet you and all of your friends at the orphanage.

We found out in November that your Visa/I800 has been approved.  It was actually approved on 11/11/11.  How’s that for a lucky day!  They called it in to the Embassy in Manila on the 22nd.  We were told that it takes 4-6 weeks for the Embassy to process it and then Che will schedule your Visa medical and interview.  Once you get through those you will get your passport about a week later, and then we will get a call telling us we can travel to pick you up.  Things seem to be moving a lot faster than we originally thought, so it looks like we might be able to get you sometime in January.  

Things are starting to feel a lot more real to me now.  Especially after seeing the photos of you holding and looking at the presents we sent you.  Knowing that you are now sleeping with the teddy bear we cuddled and looking at our faces in your little album every day makes my heart so happy.  I sure hope those photos help you to recognize us when we come so you won't get too freaked out when we carry you away from the only home you have ever known and the people who have loved and cared for you all these months.  We think about you every day and pray for you every night.  In fact, we went to a Christmas in the Park program on Sat. night and there was a man reading stories to the kids.  Your sisters really wanted to hear the story so they sat down and me and daddy stood behind them.  As I was watching over them I got this overwhelming feeling that someone was missing.  Our family is definitely not complete without you here.  We sure wish we could celebrate this Christmas season with you, but look forward to the many holidays and occasions we will get to spend with you.  We love you so much and can’t wait to see you soon. 

Love,

Mommy