This is kind of a hard post to write, but I am going to do my best to get through it. Two months ago we received an email from our agency about a new waiting child who’s file they just received. He had just turned 4 and had just a couple of minor medical issues. He had a minor eye condition(only affecting one eye) that could be corrected with surgery and he had very mild cerebral palsy that only affected one foot and caused him to walk on his tip toes on that side. Other than that he was a normal kid who could run and play just like all the other kids. He had no mental problems and seemed to be right on target for all developmental milestones. We had decided a long time ago that we were going to wait for a referral, but if a waiting child came along that seemed like a good fit for us then we would consider it.
When I first read about him, I figured our agency would never let us be matched with him because he was so close in age to Eva. I called Jason to tell him about the boy and I had a feeling of peace come over me and I knew I needed to request more information. I sent an email to our agency and received his file within that same hour. When I opened his file and saw his name, I immediately began to cry. His middle name was Gabriel. If you don’t know why that is significant go back and read the "Purple Blossoms" post. I thought of my mom’s dream right away and knew that there must have been a reason for it and why the name Gabriel in her dream was so important. I felt that this must be the reason and we were suppose to be matched with this little boy. After reading his file, there was so much about his story that coincided with my mom’s dream it gave me chills. Since this is a public blog, I am not going to say too much about him or even post his full name. I will say that he is a very special little boy and it is a miracle that he is alive and well today. He was abandoned at birth and has spent his entire life in the orphanage/home where he is currently living. It is a wonderful orphanage. They don’t even like to call it an orphanage but rather a home, because they care so much for all of their children. I am so thankful he is in such a wonderful place where he has been so loved and so well taken care of.
We decided to go ahead and ask to be matched with him and figured that if it was meant to be than everything would work out and it would happen. We first had our social worker look over his file and she got back to us that same day to say that she thought it would be a good match and we should go for it. Our agency got back to us a few days later saying that they decided to match us with him even though they had several other families also requesting the same match. I was pretty shocked and very happy that everything seemed to be going so smoothly and still felt at peace about everything. Our agency director said that we should find out within a week if the orphanage accepted the match.
We were pretty excited and anxious to hear the big news. For the next week I jumped every time the phone rang and checked my email every hour. Over 2 weeks went by and we never heard anything. A month went by and still nothing. I kept emailing our agency director but she was out of town for a couple weeks and then when she got back she tried getting ahold of someone to find something out for us, but was not able to find out anything. She then took another 2 weeks off for something and by the time she was back we were on our camping trip with no reception so we couldn’t contact her. After we got back from our trip she was gone again for another two weeks. This time she was actually going to the Philippines for a conference and was going to visit a lot of the orphanages there as well. This gave us hope that she would finally be able to find something out for us. At this point we were beginning to lose hope but still felt that things were going to work out.
Our director just got back this week and sent me an email on Tuesday, so after two very long months of waiting we finally had an answer. Unfortunately it was not the answer that we were hoping and praying for. She told us that the orphanage had decided not to match with us because they felt that another family might be able to better care for his special needs. We were extremely shocked, disappointed, sad, and confused, but they had made their minds up and that was that. We thought that if anything they would have not chosen us because of our religion, but they told our director that it had nothing to do with our religion. I know this boy is very special to them since he has been with them for so long, and I truly believe that they want only the best for him. They know him better than anyone, so we just have to trust that they have made the right decision even though it is not what we wanted.
I’m still not sure why we felt so strongly about him. We have spent the last two months thinking about him, praying for him, and fasting for him. It has brought us very close to him even though we have never met him. I was so sure he was our child, which is making it very difficult for me to let go. Even though our match was not accepted, I still feel that there was a reason for us going through this process and that we were suppose to request this match. Maybe it was to teach us patience, or maybe Gabriel and his orphanage just needed a lot of extra prayers the past couple months. Maybe since this orphanage has gotten to know us through going over our file, they will be the ones to match us later on down the road with our forever child. Who knows! We certainly don’t. I do know that we are in God’s hands and that He knows the reasons for why certain things happen and maybe someday we will finally understand. I know that we will never forget Gabriel and will continue to pray for him that he will soon be matched with his forever family.
For some happy news, since it has been so long since I have posted anything on my adoption pages. Sometime over the last several months a new law has been passed in the Philippines that is going to speed up the process for those of us waiting and allow more children to be adopted at younger ages. The old law stated that a child could be no younger than six months old before they could be declared adoptable and then they had to go through the courts which could take years, especially for abandoned children. The new law states that a child can be 3 weeks old and no longer has to go through the courts. The social workers now have the ability to sign their papers declaring them abandoned and adoptable. This new law will make it possible for children who are abandoned to be declared adoptable within just a matter of a few weeks instead of years. It will be interesting to see how and when this will start affecting those of us waiting for referrals.
