Purple Blossoms and Babies

I wasn’t sure at first if I should share this on here or not, but it is an important part of our journey so I  decided that I would share it.  I am going to try to recall as much detail as I can so I do not forget anything(this may be long).  Thursday night I had a dream, but it was not an ordinary dream.  It was the most beautiful, vivid dream I have ever had.  In this dream I was in a dark room.  It was just me and Jason alone in the room. I had just had a baby, but I do not recall ever seeing myself actually physically having the baby.  I knew it was a baby girl and I remember looking at the clock to see what time it was.  I watched the clock turn 7:15am and I remarked to Jason, with much excitement, that it was the exact day and time that Eva was born(Eva was actually born around 2am).  For some reason, in the dream, those two things, the exact time and Eva’s birthday, were very significant.  After looking at the time, I went to turn a light on so I could see the baby, but I knew it would be too bright for the baby.  Instead I turned on the hall light and then went over to the bed where she was sitting.  I saw her big, beautiful eyes staring at me and a slight smile come upon her lips as she looked at me.  I ran my fingers through her hair and down her cheek.  I felt so happy and peaceful and was amazed at what a calm, beautiful baby she was.  I felt so much love for her in that instant and felt an incredible bond.  I knew she was a very special baby and felt so happy that she was ours.  I then looked at Jason, who was laying on the bed with us, and then I looked out the window behind him.  The sun was just rising and peaking through the window.  I looked out and I saw the most beautiful tree I have ever seen.  It had some leaves that were dark green and others that were light green and then beautiful purple blossoms showing through between the leaves.  I have never in my life seen purple blossoms on a tree, so it was very new to me and I remarked to Jason how beautiful it was.  I then asked him if we should tell anyone that we had our baby, but he said that it wasn’t time yet and that we should wait.  Then I woke up.  It was around 5:30am.

I decided to wake Jason up and tell him about my dream and I couldn’t get back to sleep after that because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  I knew it was significant and I knew that it had to do with our adoption but I am still unsure of what it all means.  I am almost certain it means that we are going to be adding another daughter to our family and that she is a very special spirit.  It would be a miracle if we got a girl, since almost everyone adopting wants a girl and we already have 2 girls.  It is strange because as of April the Philippines no longer allows families to request either gender.  If we could have made a request it probably would have been for a boy.  I still feel that we might be getting a girl and a boy as a sibling pair, especially after what my mom told me when I talked with her today.  I called to tell her about my dream, because I knew, out of anyone else I could share it with, that she would understand.  I was very surprised to find out that she also had a very similar dream just a couple nights before I had mine.  Hers was also so vivid that she knew she needed to write it all down so she wouldn’t forget any of the details.  She told me she has never had a dream like this before and knew there was something very significant about it.  I asked her to send me a copy of what she wrote, but for this blog I will just write down a few of the main details I can remember.

In her dream she was also in a very dark room and she was having a baby.  Nobody knew she was having it and nobody else was in the room except for my dad.  She just had a couple of contractions with little to no pain and than one push and the baby was out.  The baby was wrapped in a very soft blanket.  She knew it was supposed to be a girl but when she pulled the blanket back, it was a boy.  She kept thinking it was such a small baby and asked how much it weighed.  It was 7lbs 1oz and for some reason my mom knew that was a significant number.  She knew that the baby was much smaller than that.  She asked my dad what his name should be, but he said that they had no names picked out.  She then said that because he was such a special baby that his name should be Gabriel, like the angel, because he was an angel, and they would call him Gabe for short.  

I got the chills when my mom told me her dream.  It was just way too similar to my own.  I am almost certain that it too relates to our adoption.  I guess only time will tell.  I have thought of lots of different ways to interpret these dreams, but the one thing I know for sure is that these two kids are very special and I feel very blessed that they may be a part of our family.  I also feel very blessed that the lord would give me the gift of these dreams so I can begin to feel connected to my children.  Adoption is so much harder than pregnancy, because when you have a baby growing inside of you it is so much easier to feel a bond and a connection beginning to grow and continue to grow every day.  With adoption, all you have is paperwork and waiting, and it is really easy to forget the reason you are doing all of it.  Now I know we have a daughter and maybe a son as well, and they now actually feel tangible to me.  I feel a connection I never thought I could feel for someone who I have never even seen.  It will be very interesting to see how everything turns out in the end.  I just really felt that I needed to write all of this down so I could look back and remember the great love the lord has for me in blessing me with such a wonderful gift.