No End In Sight

We are officially at our 18 month mark of waiting and unfortunately it still feels like there is no end in sight.  I thought by this point we would be nearing the end of our journey, but it looks like we will still have quite a long wait ahead of us.  They originally told us that the average wait would be 18-24 months and that because of our religion and Jason’s depression issues the wait would be even longer for us.  Because there was such a large group of people that applied to the Philippine’s program at the same time as us, it is looking like the wait is going to be much longer.  All of the most recent referrals that have come in have been over 24 months and I know of quite a few that are at 25 and 26 months still waiting.  What this means for us is that the earliest we will be getting a referral looks to be the beginning of next year.  We knew when we started that this was going to be a long journey, but I guess we didn’t realize just how long it was going to be.  We still could get a referral any time now, but I am not holding my breath on it being any time soon.  Thankfully we are staying plenty busy to keep our minds off of it, but it does feel sometimes like it is never going to happen.  

It has also officially been a year since we asked to be matched with the little boy I wrote about 2 posts back.  It has been so hard to see him on the waiting list all this time knowing that he could have been with us had they accepted us.  In fact a couple weeks ago we decided to ask our agency if it would be possible to request the match again, hoping that since it had been so long and they still hadn’t found the perfect match, that they would accept us this time.  I had been praying about it for some time and felt that it was time to ask and see what happened since I hadn’t really gotten a clear answer.  It turned out that the week I decided to ask was the same week he had been matched already with another family.  Because I asked, our agency called their representative in the Philippines and found out that he had just been matched.  I guess the answer to my prayers couldn’t have been more clear than that.  It really was just not meant to be.  I am happy that he is finally going to be adopted, but I still wish it could have been to us.  I know the Lord has other plans and one day I will be very thankful that this match did not happen so we could end up with the child that is meant to be part of our forever family.

One Year Mark

Well, as of December 31st we have officially been on the Philippine Adoption waiting list for a year.  Because it has been a year we had to update our home study, which included redoing our FBI and state background and child abuse checks.  We also had to renew our I-800a form, which included going to Seattle to get our fingerprints redone.  At least we didn’t have to pay anything for that, this time anyway.  You are allowed one free extension, so if we have not gotten a referral by Oct. or Nov. of this year then we will have to have everything updated again and will be paying a lot more.

I can’t believe how fast this year has gone by.  Luckily we have enough to keep us busy and keep our minds off of when we will get a referral.  The average wait time seems to be the same, even with the new law that was passed in the Philippines.  We are still being told that we should expect to wait at least 18-24 months.  That means that the soonest that we could possibly get a referral would be sometime this summer, but I have a feeling it will probably be a lot longer.  I’m ok with that though.  With the new dog and the kids coming and going to and from school, I have plenty to keep me busy until the time comes for our life to get even busier.  It will be nice having the kids a bit older and more mature as well.  They are going to be such a big help with their new little sibling.

I haven’t posted anything since my last post about the little boy that we thought was suppose to be part of our family.  We, well I should say I, have been having a hard time accepting this.  I think it would be easier if I knew that the orphanage turned us down because they had already found another family for him, but he is still on the waiting list.  It has been over 7 months since we requested to be matched with him, and it breaks my heart every time I look at the waiting list and still see his picture there.  He could have been home with us by now instead of waiting in an orphanage, as good as the orphanage is, it is still an orphanage and not a home with a family.  It makes me wonder if the timing was just not right and maybe we should try again, if that is even possible.  Then again, I know I need to trust that the Lord knows what is best for our family and what is best for that little boy.  It’s hard right now, but I know one day everything will make sense and we will know that the child we end up with is the one that is meant to be part of our family.