The first major trial in our adoption process was getting all of the financing that we would need for the entire adoption. We had just recently purchased a truck and travel trailer and knew that those would have to go in order to have all the money we needed. The problem was that it was winter and who wants to buy a travel trailer in the middle of the winter. We gave up trying to sell our truck, for now at least. We almost gave up on the trailer too but decided to give it one more try and ended up selling it in March after 5 months of trying. Since we made the decision to wait for a younger child we ended up not needing as much money as we thought. If we had adopted the waiting group of siblings we would have had to pay all the adoption fees all at once, but now we have 2 years to save the rest of the money that we will need.
Another major trial for us has been things getting lost in the mail. So far we have had 5 things from 3 different people get lost. The first was our guardianship letter from my brother and his wife. It was suppose to come to our house but never made it. It did eventually make it back to them and they just had to resend it. The next two were referral letters from 2 different people that were suppose to go to our social worker. Those never made it and never got returned. We double and triple checked to make sure they were using the right address and sure enough they were. One of them had made a copy so he has sent his 3 times now and it still has not made it. The other one is still working on writing his again. This has been so frustrating for us because it is completely out of our hands. I guess this is part of learning to trust in the Lord’s timing and not ours.
In the beginning we had some problems with people around us not being very supportive of our decision or just thinking we were crazy for wanting to adopt 3 older siblings. Now that we are looking at adopting a younger child or two everyone is much more supportive and understanding about our decision. The only question we ever really get from people about our decision to adopt is why we chose the Philippines. One reason is because that is where Jason served his mission. He loves the Filipino people and knows the culture and speaks the language. I look at that as more of a benefit and not really a reason though. In reality though there is only one reason and it is simply because that is where our child is. Who knows, maybe that is why the Lord sent Jason on his mission there.
For part of our home study all 4 of us had to get physicals done. On the way to the doctor we had to sit in traffic for over an hour and right before we got there Eva threw up all over herself. We had no change of clothes for her either and this was in December so it was pretty cold out. All we had was an extra jacket. I took her shirt off and just put that on and hoped their was a hot-air hand dryer in the bathroom so I could wash her clothes in the sink and get them somewhat dry. No luck-just paper towels. Jason was already in with Breanna getting their physicals done, so with no help from him I got Eva as clean as I could and stripped her down to just her socks, diaper, and jacket. I’m sure everyone looked at me like I was crazy but no one, not even the doctor, asked why she was only wearing a diaper and jacket in the middle of December. After our 2 hour appointment and after all of us girls got our Hepatitis A shots we then had to carry Eva out to the freezing cold car and put her in her car seat that was still completely covered in puke because we had nothing to clean it up with. That was a fun day, let me tell you. It all turned out well in the end though. Our doctor decided to approve us for adoption despite my hypothyroidism, Jason’s high cholesterol and our girls not being completely immunized.
About a month after our physicals we found out that we would have to do it all again for our dossier paperwork (the papers that go to the Philippines). Lucky for us though it had been recent enough that our doctor agreed to just write the letters for us without another physical. We did have to meet with a Psychologist though, for part of our dossier, to get a psychological exam done for me and Jason to show that we are mentally stable enough to adopt. I am pleased to say that we both passed. It was pretty painless. It was just an hour interview where we got to talk about ourselves, our life, and our achievements.
Another trial has been finding out that the Philippines has the right to discriminate based on whatever they want when it comes to adoption. We were told that because we are Mormon that it will very likely take much longer for us to receive a referral. I guess they consider us to be more of a cult than a religion and that most orphanages will give their referral to those who are members of mainstream religions like Catholics and Protestants. Even non-denominational christians have a better chance than we do at getting a referral. What this means for us is that we will still get a referral eventually, it will just take longer than most. Most likely it will take a minimum of 2 years. This was pretty disappointing in the beginning for us. I am fine with it now, because I know that the Lord is in charge and that we are suppose to adopt from the Philippines. Even if it does take that long I will be ok with that. It will just give us longer to prepare.
We are currently waiting on our social worker to receive our last two referral letters and our home study will be complete. We then need to complete our dossier which requires an additional 3 referral letters and a bunch of other stuff. Hopefully we will not have as many problems getting those as we have with the home study ones. I am not even going to say when I hope to have everything done and submitted, because it is obvious to me that my timing means nothing. If I had it my way everything would have been completed by the end of January.
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