Waiting For Some Good Mail

I know I haven’t updated here for a long time, but not much has been going on except for waiting and waiting and more waiting.  This week, after 90 days of waiting, we received our I-800a approval in the mail last Friday.  This is basically a pre-approval from the US Immigration saying that we will be allowed to bring a child into this country when the time comes.  Once we get our referral we will have to file an I-800 form which will give us our actual approval to bring our child home.  I guess they do the pre-approval to speed up the process for families once they get their referral.  I guess we’ll see if this is really the case. 

We were surprised that we did not need any additional information for our I-800a to be approved.  Our social worker kept telling us that they haven’t approved any on the first try.  I guess that means that something actually went right for us.  I guess miracles really do happen.  We thought for sure that they would ask for Jason’s NBI clearance. We were also told that we may need a letter from Jason’s counselor.  Maybe now that they have been working through so many of these forms, they are starting to get a little more relaxed about things.  Whatever the reason, we are very happy.

Now we are just waiting to hear back from ICAB(the Philippine Adoption Board) to see if we have their official approval to adopt from their country.  I’m not expecting to hear anything from them until after Christmas, but we’ll see.

So Much Time

I cannot believe how much time has gone by since we started this adoption journey.  It has already been a year.  I cannot believe everything that has happened to delay this whole process.  I never would have thought that it would have taken us an entire year to complete this stage in our adoption journey.  It is not humanly possible for so many things to go wrong.  It is very obvious to us that the Lord’s hands have been involved from the very beginning.  We know He has a plan for us to bring our children home, even though at times it is very difficult to understand why things must happen the way they do.  I have definitely learned to be patient throughout this past year and to just take things a step at a time.  I decided to create a timeline of our adoption so far.  I know I already have everything written down, but it was very interesting to see it all put together on the same page.  There were a lot of things I had forgotten about.  Here it is for those who are interested(if not skip down to the bottom for some really great news):

Our Adoption Timeline

10/26/07 - First contacted Wide Horizon's For Children(WHFC) and our social     

                   worker, JoAnn from All God's Children.

11/07/07 - JoAnn received our initial contract and deposit and said Portland 

                  would send our Home Study Binder that week.

11/19/07 - Never received the Binder, so JoAnn sent in a second request to 

                  their main office.

11/26/07 - Still had not received the Binder. We called the Portland office to     

                  find out where it was, only to find out they had not sent it yet.

11/28/07 - Finally received the Binder and could start the paperwork.

11/29/07 - Started internet adoption classes.

01/23/08 - Finished personal profiles, adoption classes, and all paperwork 

                   needed, but still waiting on guardianship statement and references.

01/28/08 - Figured out that the guardianship statement from my brother and 

                   reference letters from two people had gotten lost in the mail.

02/04/08 - Found out that our religion would cause difficulties and may delay us 

                   in getting a referral from the Philippines.

02/06/08 - Met with JoAnn for interviews at her office.                     

03/03/08 - Met with JoAnn at our home for the home visit, still missing 3 

                   references.

03/29/08 - Still missing 3 references, so JoAnn sent us 3 new forms to give to 

                   3 new people.  Our Home Study was complete except for these 

                   forms.  We did finally receive the guardianship statement after my 

                   brother got it sent back to him, even though the address was

                   correct, and he then resent it.

04/03/08 - JoAnn received the reference letter from Jason's mom, we later 

                   found out that she thought it was mailed, but it had slipped between 

                   the seat of her car and she found it a couple of weeks later and 

                   mailed it then.

04/21/08 - Last 2 references still missing.  One of them had made copies and 

                   had mailed it in a total of 3 times, none of which ever arrived.  The 

                   other did not make copies and was taking too long to redo his.  At 

                   this point we had given 2 new forms to 2 additional people.

05/03/08 - JoAnn had finally received all letters and finished the first draft of 

                   our home study.

05/13/08 - We found out from WHFC that starting April 1st the Philippines 

                   became a Hague country and that our home study must be changed 

                   to meet the new guidelines.

05/22/08 - Found out we needed to get child abuse clearances from every state 

                   and country we lived in since the age of 18.

06/05/08 - Received a call from WHFC to explain to us how difficult it would be 

                   for us to get a referral not only because of our religion, but also     

                   because of Jason's history of depression.  They said it may take up 

                   to 3 years for us and tried talking us into going with a different 

                   country program or domestic adoption.

06/10/08 - Sent off clearance requests to all of the states we lived in, and 

                   figured out how to get the NBI clearance from the Philippines.

06/16/08 - We were told by WHFC not to get the NBI clearance done, because 

                   it was not actually a child abuse clearance. They were getting a 

                   letter from ICAB stating that there was no child abuse registry in 

                   the Philippines.

06/29/08 - JoAnn informed us that our Washington State background checks 

                   and child abuse clearances needed to be redone since they were over 

                   3 months old.

07/07/08 - Met with JoAnn again at her office in order to comply with the new 

                   hague guidelines.

07/08/08 - Finished our Dossier and mailed it off to WHFC.

07/16/08 - After asking WHFC about the letter from ICAB for the Philippine 

                   child abuse registry, we were told that the USCIS was not accepting 

                   the letter at that time and were asking for the NBI clearance. 

07/21/08 - We took a trip to the Philippine Consulate in Canada in order to get 

                  the NBI clearance application taken care of and mailed off to Manila.

07/22/08 - Found out that we needed to get our FBI clearances redone and also 

                   our medicals since they could be no more than 6 months old at the     

                   time the home study was submitted.

07/25/08 - Our doctor redid our medicals and did not charge us for them.

07/29/08 - Found out we needed to update our tax information with our 2007 

                   tax sheet.  JoAnn also informed us that she just received new 

                   guidelines on how to write up a Hague compliant home study and 

                   would need to rewrite our entire home study again.

08/13/08 - JoAnn informed us that we would need a letter from Jason's 

                   previous counselor stating that he was now in a good state of health 

                   and that she would recommend him to adopt.

08/18/08 - Our home study was finally finished and approved.

08/25/08 - We were told by WHFC not to send them our home study yet for 

                   our dossier, and that we needed to wait until we had received our 

                   I-800a approval from the USCIS.

08/27/08 - Received a letter from Manila requesting additional information for 

                   the NBI clearance.

08/29/08 - Sent in our I-800a application to the USCIS only to get it back in 

                   the mail a week later because we had written the check out for $10 

                   over the amount required and had to resubmit the entire thing again.

09/13/08 - Found out from my Yahoo adoption group that we did not need to 

                   wait for I-800a approval before submitting our dossier.  WHFC 

                   agreed to let us send them our home study to review and then would 

                   send our dossier to the Philippines.

09/23/08 - Received Jason's NBI clearance and fingerprint appointments for 

                   the I-800a applications.

10/01/08 - Went to the USCIS offices in Seattle for our fingerprinting.

10/02/08 - Emailed WHFC to find out if our dossier had been sent.

10/07/08 - Received an email from our caseworker at WHFC saying that she 

                   needed our medicals, which meant that she was just starting to 

                   review our home study.  I replied with a reminder that we had sent 

                   those in 3 months ago with our dossier and she would need to get 

                   them from the Philippine program coordinator like I told her 3 

                   months ago to do.

10/16/08 - Our home study was finally finished being reviewed and sent on to 

                  the Philippine program assistant.

10/20/08 - Sent an email to the Philippine program director to see if our dossier 

                   had been sent and got a reply that it would be sent out the next day.

10/23/08 - Emailed again to see if our dossier had been sent after not hearing 

                   anything.

10/27/08 - Still no response, so we called and left a message and sent another 

                   email.

10/28/08 - Finally got a call that our dossier had been mailed off that day.

Yes, you read that correctly, our dossier has finally been mailed off to the Philippines.  I cannot tell you how excited we are, not to mention how relieved we are.  Now we will have to wait for ICAB(Inter Country Adoption Board-the board in the Philippines that all adoptions must go through) approval and then we will officially be on the waiting list for a referral.  ICAB approval usually only takes about 6-8 weeks, but I’m sure that ours will be much longer based on the fact that everything has taken much longer for us.  Maybe we will be surprised and get a special Christmas present this year, but I am definitely not counting on it.  I will be happy if we have approval by the end of January.

Still Smiling

Why is this girl smiling?  What can she possibly have to smile about?  She lives in a place called Smokey Mountain.  It is a garbage dump in Manila.  Many people actually live there.  I wouldn’t really call it living though.  I think surviving would be a better word to use.  The children spend all day rummaging through the garbage finding trinkets or anything they might possibly be able to sell just so they have food to eat.  I have seen many pictures of street kids in the Philippines, but this one really got my attention.  How can she possibly be happy when to everyone else looking at her life it would seem so grim.  

That is what is so great about children.  They take each moment as it comes.  They don’t worry about the future or get depressed about how their life should be, the things they should have.  This girl probably isn’t even aware that she is living in such horrible conditions.  To her, it is her life.  It is all she knows and probably ever has known.  We can learn a lot from this little girl.  We should take pleasure in all the small moments in life.  We should not spend so much time worrying and wondering about things we might be missing out on or the things we don’t have.  We should not worry so much about what the future will bring, but should instead just take each day as it comes and make the most of it.  If this little girl who has spent her entire life, so far, living in a garbage dump can smile and find joy in life, then all of us can.  Life is what we make of it.  Either your glass is half empty or it is half full.  I hope I can live most of my life with my glass half full and not worry so much about the other things.

I wanted to post this today, because we received some more frustrating news about our adoption today.  I got an email from someone at our placement agency to tell us that they are missing our medicals.  I sent those to them 3 months ago.  I think the only reason they are asking for them now is that I just sent them an email asking if our dossier has been sent to the Philippines yet.  We sent this same person our home study a month ago to review and then give to the Philippine Program Assistant to attach to our dossier before it can be sent off.  Anyway I was going to write a long post all about this in order to vent away all my anger and frustrations, but then I remembered this photo and it actually calmed me down a lot.  It helped me to look at all of this from a different angle.  I could get really angry and upset and start blaming our agency for doing such a horrible job or I can trust that this is all for a reason and our dossier is not meant to be sent off yet.  Maybe it is the Lord who is causing all of these random things to happen so everything is delayed more and more.  Maybe our child is not ready yet or we are not ready for our child yet.  I know I have said all of this before, but how easy it is to forget when you think things are finally going to go smoothly just to hit another bump.  Oh well, what’s one more bump.  We’ve made it over all the other ones, I’m sure we’ll make it over this one too.  I know we are in the Lord’s hands, so I will just keep on smiling despite everything else.

USCIS Fingerprinting

Yesterday was our scheduled day to go in for our fingerprinting with the USCIS. Our appointments were scheduled for 11am, so we dropped the girls at my mom’s at 10am in order to give us plenty of time to get there.  We had to go all the way to south seattle to the Home Land Security Offices where the USCIS was located.  I don’t know why, but nothing ever goes smoothly for us when it comes to this adoption stuff and yesterday was no different.  We realized, after we dropped the girls off, that Jason had grabbed the wrong paper and the one we needed was still at home.  They required us to bring our fingerprint appointment forms with us and Jason had accidently grabbed another form they had sent us instead.  We had to drive all the way home, which was 15 minutes away.  Once we left our house we only had 40 minutes to drive 40 miles in Seattle traffic.  Needless to say we were both a little stressed.  We had no idea what would happen if we were late.  They stressed on the form we received in the mail that if we failed to make it to our appointment that we would not be receiving another one.  This was the final important step in our adoption paperwork and if it didn’t get done, we would not be able to adopt.  I think I prayed all the way there that we would make it on time or at least close to on time.

Somehow we managed to arrive just 5 minutes late.  We were definitely lucky or I guess we were blessed to not run into any traffic the whole way there.  Once we got there we had to go through security and then got a number, filled out our forms and our numbers were called almost immediately after our forms were done.  We were in and out in less than a half hour.  The lady doing my fingerprints mentioned that not as many people are doing adoptions this year as there were last year.  She said that if we had come there last year, we would have had to wait hours to get our fingerprints done.  I guess with all the new restrictions and requirements it is getting harder and harder to adopt internationally, so fewer people are doing it.  I can definitely understand why.  If we had known ahead of time how hard all of this was going to be, I’m not sure we would have gone through with it.  Although, when you know it is what you are suppose to be doing, nothing is too difficult.  It feels so good right now to know that everything is finished and now all we have to do is wait.  I’m sure something else will come up while we wait for our approval, but at least we know that right now it is all out of our hands. 

We Got Mail

We have actually gotten a couple of good pieces of mail the last couple of weeks.  We have gotten our fingerprint appointments from the USCIS, and we don’t have to go to Yakima.  I guess because of all the new changes, all I-800a applications are now reviewed in a central location in Missouri.  I think this is why it no longer matters which office you get the fingerprints done, since the local offices aren’t the ones reviewing them anymore.  Now we get to go to Seattle instead.  A much shorter drive, but I’ve heard the amount of time you spend in the Seattle office could make you wish you made the drive to Yakima instead.  Our appointments aren’t until October 1st, and our application will not even start to be reviewed until those are done.  I guess that means we still have a long wait for approval.  That doesn’t really matter too much now, since we do not need it for ICAB approval.  

The other good piece of mail we have received is Jason’s NBI clearance.  We still don’t know if we even need it, but at least now we have it now.  It’s better to have something and not need it then to need something and not have it. It took about 2 months to get, so I am glad we got that out of the way.  I guess that is all for now.  I will probably post again on the 1st to let everyone know how our appointments went. 

A Big Thumbs Up Goes To. . .

No not our social worker, definitely not our placement agency, but to the philippines adoption yahoo group.  I am so glad I joined that group, they have been way more help to us than our social worker or agency has ever been.  I kept seeing posts come up about people saying they had sent their dossier in already even though they had not gotten their I-800a approval.  I kept thinking that was really strange, since our social worker and our agency told us that we could not do this.  Someone else in the group asked the same question I was thinking about how this was possible.  It turns out that it is not necessary to have I-800a approval in order to turn in your dossier.  You just need a completed home study, which we have had now for a month.  Other agencies were allowing their families to turn in their dossier and then if the USCIS required a change to their home studies, they would just forward a copy of the new home study on to the Philippines later on.  Pretty simple, ya think.  Why we were never told this was an option I really cannot understand and am pretty upset about.  I think that our agency just didn’t want the hassle of having to resend our home study if changes were needed later on, I mean it’s not like we are paying them thousands of dollars for their services or anything.  

I emailed our agency again and told them that I knew of several people that had sent their dossiers in without USCIS approval and was wondering why we couldn’t do the same thing.  They emailed back within just a couple of days saying that we could do that.  I guess they go by the “if they don’t ask, then we won’t tell” way of working things.  If it wasn’t for my yahoo group then I would never have known that this was even an option. There are a lot of people who love our agency and would never use a different one.  I myself don’t think I would ever use them again.  They have done several things that have really frustrated me.  I don’t think I would use the same social worker again either.  She is really nice, but there are many times that I have ended up doing things that really should  have been her job to do. 

Well, enough venting for now and on to the exciting news.  What all of this means is that instead of having to wait another 3 months or so to get our I-800a approved with the USCIS, we are sending in our dossier now.  For those new to adoption, the dossier is a group of documents along with our home study that goes to ICAB, which is the adoption board working in the Philippines that all Philippine adoptions must go through.  Once ICAB receives our dossier they will examine it and make sure everything looks ok and then if so they will give us their approval.  This part of the process usually takes about 6 weeks.  Once we have their approval that means that we are officially on the waiting list to adopt.  How exciting is that!  Not as exciting as a referral, but it is still a pretty big deal for us considering everything we have been through so far.  It will be such a relief to know that all the paperwork is finally over with and all we need to do is sit back and wait.  I wish I could say for sure how long that wait will be.  Since it is the orphanages who choose the families, the wait can range anywhere from 6 months to 3 years.  That wide range doesn’t help much for preparation purposes.  Once we get a referral it will still take another 3-6 months before we can travel to pick up our child, so at least then we will have some time to prepare ourselves better.  I have quite a few ideas on how to keep myself busy during the wait.  One of those is actually a pretty big project that I will be letting everyone know about soon.  I still need to get a few more things together before I let everyone know about it.  Here’s to hoping the next time I post will either be about my project or more good news.  

Extremely Frustrated

I know there always has to be one more thing, but this is getting ridiculous.  Wednesday we got our receipt in the mail saying that the USCIS received our package. Yesterday we received a package from the USCIS that contained our entire package that we had just sent them.  They sent everything back because the check we gave them for their services was $10 over the amount required.  I guess they can’t write checks so there was no way to give us back the $10.  If we would have known we would have said to just keep the change, but they might consider that a bride-who knows.  It cost them $3 to send it back to us and it will cost us another $10 to send it back to them.  Talk about ridiculous!  We were both pretty frustrated about it last night, but I guess it was our fault.  We should have triple checked everything, but when you have a huge packet of stuff you are sending it is pretty easy to make a mistake.  I am just hoping that was the only one.  I guess we will see.

I know everything happens for a reason and getting so frustrated and disappointed really doesn’t do any good.  I kept telling myself this last night so I could calm down and get to sleep.  It is just one more thing to add to our extremely long list of things that have happened to delay our adoption.  I just have to continue to trust that Heavenly Father knows what He is doing and that we are in His hands. There really is nothing else we can do about it.  It is hard when things are out of our control, but I guess that is where faith and patience comes in.  We are definitely learning a lot about that and I am sure we will continue to have these opportunities to learn more.

We Love Canada Post!

We got mail!  No, it wasn’t our NBI clearance, but it was a letter from Manila.  The NBI sent us a letter requesting additional information.  They needed a copy of Jason’s passport, which we faxed right over to them, so we should be getting the clearance in the mail sometime in the next two weeks or so.  I cannot even tell you how excited we were to get that letter.  We thought for sure that we would have to do it all over again, which we were so not looking forward to.  All I can say is “Thank You Canada Post!”  Their tracking system may stink, but at least the mail does get to where it’s going.  I usually hate surprises, but I have to say that this was a great surprise.

That’s all we have to report this week as far as adoption news goes.  Maybe now things are going to start moving much more smoothly and quickly I hope.  We did get to go to an adoption meeting last week that was put on by Wide Horizons(our placement agency).  We were told that it was going to be a lunch meet-and-greet.  I was pretty excited, because this would be the first time we could actually meet some of the Wide Horizons staff in person and also get to know other families adopting through them and maybe from the Philippines.  It ended up being a pretty informal meeting and there was really no lunch provided(just a tray of crackers and cheese and some veggies).  It went from 12-2pm so I think everyone was starving by the time we all got out of there.  If you’re going to call it a “Lunch Meet-and-Greet” than you better actually provide some real food.  That’s really my only complaint.  I liked the informal way they did it, where we could just talk and ask questions and introduce ourselves.  It turned out that most everyone there was interested or already started in the Philippine program.  There was also someone there who I have gotten to know on the Philippine adoption group I joined.  It was so strange, but very cool, to actually get to meet her in person.  They already have a referral for a 15 month old girl from Manila and they have two little boys at home that are our girls ages.  It will be fun to hang out with their family after we both have our babies home.  We also got to know another family who are filipino.  They are at the same point in the process as we are, but since they are filipino they will get a referral much more quickly.  We are hoping to stay connected with all of the people we met, so we can help each other through the process. It will also be nice to have connections for our adopted children to get together with later on.

Happy Day

Since my last post I have been feeling really down.  I have been praying a lot and questioning our decision a lot.  I just couldn’t understand, if we had made the right decision, why things were not working out for us.  In my head I kept thinking that just because you are doing everything right that doesn’t mean that things will go perfectly, but it does mean that things will eventually work out.  In my heart, though, I was feeling so discouraged and just couldn’t stop thinking that we had made the wrong choice and that maybe our baby was somewhere else or maybe the timing was all wrong and now we were way too into it to get ourselves out of.  I tried not thinking about it, but I still couldn’t shake the discouragement and depression.  

Then Sunday I had Jason check to see if our NBI clearance ever made it to Manila, since we paid extra to have tracking on it and we never received our return receipt.  It has been a month and we have heard nothing, so Jason checked and found out that the last place it was tracked was leaving Canada.  We don’t know if their tracking system is just messed up or if it just disappeared, like much of our mail has seemed to do throughout this process.  This is not what I needed to hear.  I was already feeling so miserable about everything and this just made it ten times worse.  Talk about discouragement.  I didn’t even want to go to church after that, but I forced myself to go because I knew I needed it.  It made me feel a little better, but I was still having a hard time and knew I could not take one more thing.  I had a hard time sleeping last night. I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything and wondering if we really were on the right track and if so how long this was going to take.  I prayed about it quite a bit last night off and on and pleaded with the Lord to let us know if we were headed in the right direction.  I just needed to know for sure so I would have the strength that would be required of me to get through any more setbacks or problems.  I knew from the beginning that this would not be easy, but I really had no idea how hard it was going to be.

Now for the good news.  After 10 LONG months of working on our home study, it is finally finished.  For real this time!  Everything has been approved and notarized and it is on its way to us this very day.  Our social worker called me this morning.  She usually just emails unless it is important and she wanted to be able to tell me over the phone that it was finally complete.  I was a little nervous to answer the phone at first, I just kept thinking “Oh no, what now”.  I am so glad I did though.  I cannot even begin to describe how happy and relieved I am right now.  This is HUGE for us and it is a step that I thought we would never get through.  I would like to say that it will be smooth sailing for us after this point, but I have a feeling that nothing in this process is going to be easy for us.  Maybe if I just expect the worst then I will be pleasantly surprised if things do start to go smoothly.  I guess the Lord really does know just how much He can push us and when we have reached our breaking point.  I know this was an answer to my prayers and I feel so good knowing that we are one step closer to bringing our precious child/ren home.  

Although this is a huge deal for us, it is really just the beginning of the process.  Now, once we get our home study in the mail, we mail it on to the USCIS along with our I-800a form and they will file it and then schedule us for fingerprinting at their office in Yakima.  They will also begin reviewing it and they most likely will be asking us for additional information.  Our social worker said that so far 100% of all applications have not made it through on the first try.  All of them have needed additional information, so she is not expecting ours to be any different.  She just doesn’t know what that information will be.  She told us to hold onto the letter that she asked Jason to get from his counselor and not to send it with the home study, but instead wants us to wait and see if the USCIS asks for it because they may not need it.  She said the same thing about the NBI.  We will probably wait until they tell us officially that they require it before we go back to Canada to get it done again.  Who knows by then maybe the first one we sent off to Manila will just show up in our mailbox completed.  I will definitely be praying for that or that the USCIS will not require it.  As much as I like Canada, I am just not looking forward to driving all that way just to get something done that we already did.  Plus, Jason does not have much time to take off this month or next and we already will need to drive all the way to Yakima, hopefully without the kids, to get the fingerprinting done.  Once we are approved with the USCIS we can then have our agency send our dossier and home study on to the Philippines and then we will have to wait about 6 weeks for their approval.  Once approved with ICAB(Inter Country Adoption Board in the Philippines) we are officially added to the waiting list for a child and will begin our wait which could be anywhere from 1-3 years.  I guess that’s all for now.  I will post again if anything changes or when we find out what additional info the USCIS is going to require of us.  Here’s to hoping it will be nothing.  We could be the first to be approved on the first try.  Miracles do happen, we finally finished our home study after all!

My Glimmer Has Been Snuffed

Well, so much for my glimmer of hope.  I have had a bad feeling all week, because we have been waiting to hear if our home study has been approved by AGCI(our home study agency).  We have been waiting for two weeks and last time we waited for two weeks also only to find out that we needed to redo our medicals and then turn it back in and wait for approval again.  Even though I said I had hope in my last post, with everything that has happened so far, I just knew it couldn’t be that easy.  There is ALWAYS something else that comes up to get in our way.  I finally emailed our social worker, because I just couldn’t stand waiting anymore and she just said she was also waiting to hear back from AGCI.  Then today she called and then emailed Jason and here is what she said:

Hi Jason,

Please contact your counselor and ask for a letter as follows:

Dates of service, approximate # of hours, reason for treatment and a statement that your symptoms resolved without complication. It would be helpful to ask that there be a statement as follows: "Mr. Stewart has not contacted me for follow-up services since the date of our last session."

If the counselor is comfortable making a statement that you are a stable and responsible parent that would also be great.

I have no idea how long this will take.  I guess that will all depend on how busy Jason’s counselor is.  He hasn’t even been to see her in over 3 years.  This is just crazy, and ridiculous, and I am just so tired of everything going wrong.  Our home study has already been reviewed three times.  Why did they not catch this during the first two times.  It’s not like it was hidden somewhere that Jason had problems with depression and has seen a counselor.  That is what drives me crazy more than anything else-it is always just one more thing.  Why can’t they just tell us EVERYTHING that is needed or missing all at the same time.  It’s not like they haven’t done this before.  I just don’t get it.  It really makes us wonder if we are doing the right thing.  Talk about giving someone doubts.  If this is really the direction we are supposed to be going, then why is it taking so long and why has everything been so difficult.  I have been trying to make sense of it all, but it is just so frustrating.  I know one day it will all make sense and I will understand, but for now I am just sad and frustrated.  Right now I can see no end in sight.  I try to imagine our home study being completed and everything approved, but it just doesn’t seem real to me anymore.  Let alone actually getting a referral someday.  I know we are supposed to adopt I just don’t know if this is really the direction we need to be going.  I am just really confused right now.  I guess we have a lot of praying to do, either for everything to start working out for us or for us to know if we are on the wrong path.  It looks like we have some time to figure everything out.  It is not too late to change programs until our dossier is sent to the Philippines and that can’t take place until our home study is done.  I know that the Lord will help us make this decision and that everything will work out how it is meant to be.  This is just a hard place to be right now.

A Small Glimmer of Hope

We got our medicals completed on Tuesday.  We all ended up having to actually go in to see our doctor, because on the form it asked for the date of the last exam.  Our doctor would have been fine just filling it out and putting a current date on it, but he couldn’t change the date of the exam unless we actually all came in for an exam.  We weren’t sure how they were going to bill for it and what we would end up paying.  We just left it up to the lord and trusted that it would all work out.  We got there and the receptionists were very confused, so they ended up signing us all in and making us pay our co-pay for each of us.  Then our doctor came out and made them refund all of that money back to us.  He said that because of the circumstance he would do it all free of charge.  Plus he had no idea how to bill for it and didn’t want to mess with it.  We are so thankful for his generosity and consideration.  He really is the best doctor ever.  It is kind of an interesting story on how he became our doctor.  It all has to do with our decision to have no more biological children.  He was the one we were referred to for Jason’s vasectomy.  We liked him so much that we decided to switch over to him as our family doctor.  He was just so nice and funny and personable.  He is really good with kids as well.  Also, when we decided to adopt we were told that we would need to find a doctor who has done adoptions before, because we would need him to know how to fill out all the paperwork and also be aware of all the tests and exams that need to be done on children coming from foreign countries.  It turned out that our doctor has done adoptions before, so we were able to stay with him.  Funny how things work out, and he has just been great through this whole process.  This has been one of the only things that has actually gone smoothly throughout our whole adoption journey so far.  It is things like this that remind us that the lord really is on our side and is helping us along this journey.  It gives me hope to be reminded of this and helps me remember that we really will get through this despite how long it may take to get there.  

Our social worker emailed us yesterday to let us know that as of last week none of the new Hague home studies have been accepted by the USCIS.  She said that she was actually given some real guidelines that will help her know if there is anything our home study is lacking before we turn ours in with our I-800a.  That way there is a greater chance that ours may be accepted.  Why they are just coming out with guidelines for this 4 months after the new policies were put into effect is beyond my comprehension.  I know they are trying to protect the children of the world, but they sure are making it tough for any of these children to get adopted.  We just mailed in all the rest of the things we needed to update for our home study to our social worker today.  I guess our next step, once our home study is actually, finally finished(which it should be now), is to mail everything on to the USCIS and hope it gets approved.  We will definitely be needing a lot of prayers for that one.  I feel like we are so close to the end I can almost touch it, but something always happens and we just can’t ever seem to make it to the end.  This is why I chose the picture of the lighthouse for this post.  I feel like we are on a boat trying to get to shore.  We can see the light from the lighthouse which gives us hope and something to hold on to, but we just never seem to be able to make it to shore.  I am just thankful for the light and that is what is keeping us going.  We know we are on the right path and we will make it, but it is just hard to tell how far away we actually are.

Ups and Downs

Today has been quite the ride, full of all sorts of ups and downs and twists and turns, and it’s only 2pm.  Let me start off by saying what a great day we had yesterday.  We got to Vancouver just in time to have lunch, so we parked a block away from the Embassy which happened to be right next to an A&W.  We had lunch and then went to the Embassy, which was a very small office (one room with no chairs and just one lady helping people).  She gave us the form we needed with an instruction sheet.  She didn’t even ask us where we were from.  They don’t do the fingerprints at that office and she told us we didn’t need to get it notarized or authenticated or any of that.  I guess they do things different in Canada.  We found the International Fingerprinting office, which was just a block away, and got the fingerprints done.  The instruction sheet said to get a certified check from the Royal Bank of Canada, because Manila has had problems with other banks which would cause our application to be delayed, so of course we went in search of the RBC.  We were able to find one just a couple of blocks away.  We ended up having to pay them $15 for a $4 check, but oh well, I think it will be worth it.  Since we had everything done we decided to try to find a post office to get it mailed off and have everything finished.  We found one just across from the Embassy.  We were able to get everything taken care of all within a 2 block radius and all within 2 hours.  The Lord was definitely on our side today.  Now we just have to wait to get it back in 3-4 weeks.  It felt so good to know we had everything done, finally.  I felt so happy and relived for the first time in months.  We had a great time in Canada while we were there.  I will write more about that on our other blog and include some pictures.

Well, that was yesterday.  Today is a whole different story.  I decided to email our social worker to find out the status of our home study, since it has been a couple of weeks since we submitted it.  I also emailed Wide Horizons to find out if the USCIS was still requiring the NBI or not, so I would know if we should submit our home study and I800a now or wait until we got our NBI clearance back.

I got an email back from Wide Horizons saying that the USCIS is still requiring additional information from 100% of all applications received.  Crazy!  They still haven’t come out with clear guidelines of what they want from the home study, but should be coming out with something soon to make the process go more smoothly.  Now that’s the government for you.  Way to implement a brand new program without having it all figured out first.  Anyway, she said that we should go ahead and submit our home study because they are still arranging appointments to get fingerprinted and by the time we get that done they should know better what we need.  It still seems pretty confusing to me, but I was happy that we could move on with the process while they continue to not know what the heck is going on.  

Then I got an email back from our social worker and all of my hopes and happiness from the previous email was dashed to pieces.  She was waiting for our home study to be approved by the agency’s main office and just found out today that we need to have our medicals redone because they are over 6 months old.  I don’t know why she didn’t think of this before, but like I mentioned before, I don’t think she has ever had a home study take this long and just didn’t think about it.  I just wanted to cry when I read that.  In order for us to have those done we needed to schedule physicals for each of us.  Me, Jason, and both girls.

I called Jason to let him know, I figured I might as well ruin his day too and we could be miserable together.  He told me he would call the doctor and figure out what we should do.  He then called me back to let me know that he found out that our insurance only covers 1 physical a year for each of us and if we had to have another one done it would be $200 out of our own pockets(and we were worried about having to pay all the co-pays again).  That would be $800 for all of us.  Not gonna happen.  He said he was waiting for our doctor to call him back so he could find out if we could just bring him the forms, without making an appointment, and have him just fill out the forms again exactly the same but with the current date.  I was so depressed at this point and praying for a miracle.

Jason called me back after talking with our doctor and said that he was willing to do it without an appointment.  “Thank You God!” is all I can say.  I feel so blessed and so relieved for this.  In the end, I always know the Lord is on our side, because everything always works out.  It is just not always fun getting to that point.  I just keep wondering what is coming next.  There is always something.  I feel like I am on a never-ending roller coaster and I just want to get off but I can’t.  Especially after that dream I had.  I know I can’t give up.  Maybe that is why the Lord blessed me with such an incredible dream, so on days like today, when I am at the end of my rope, I can look back and remember the peace and love that I felt and know that it is all going to be worth it in the end.  Our children must be pretty special to have all the powers of hell working against us in bringing them home.  Lucky for us we also have all the powers of heaven with us and they are mightier, so I know they will make it home.  It will just be quite a long and crazy journey getting to that point.

Purple Blossoms and Babies

I wasn’t sure at first if I should share this on here or not, but it is an important part of our journey so I  decided that I would share it.  I am going to try to recall as much detail as I can so I do not forget anything(this may be long).  Thursday night I had a dream, but it was not an ordinary dream.  It was the most beautiful, vivid dream I have ever had.  In this dream I was in a dark room.  It was just me and Jason alone in the room. I had just had a baby, but I do not recall ever seeing myself actually physically having the baby.  I knew it was a baby girl and I remember looking at the clock to see what time it was.  I watched the clock turn 7:15am and I remarked to Jason, with much excitement, that it was the exact day and time that Eva was born(Eva was actually born around 2am).  For some reason, in the dream, those two things, the exact time and Eva’s birthday, were very significant.  After looking at the time, I went to turn a light on so I could see the baby, but I knew it would be too bright for the baby.  Instead I turned on the hall light and then went over to the bed where she was sitting.  I saw her big, beautiful eyes staring at me and a slight smile come upon her lips as she looked at me.  I ran my fingers through her hair and down her cheek.  I felt so happy and peaceful and was amazed at what a calm, beautiful baby she was.  I felt so much love for her in that instant and felt an incredible bond.  I knew she was a very special baby and felt so happy that she was ours.  I then looked at Jason, who was laying on the bed with us, and then I looked out the window behind him.  The sun was just rising and peaking through the window.  I looked out and I saw the most beautiful tree I have ever seen.  It had some leaves that were dark green and others that were light green and then beautiful purple blossoms showing through between the leaves.  I have never in my life seen purple blossoms on a tree, so it was very new to me and I remarked to Jason how beautiful it was.  I then asked him if we should tell anyone that we had our baby, but he said that it wasn’t time yet and that we should wait.  Then I woke up.  It was around 5:30am.

I decided to wake Jason up and tell him about my dream and I couldn’t get back to sleep after that because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  I knew it was significant and I knew that it had to do with our adoption but I am still unsure of what it all means.  I am almost certain it means that we are going to be adding another daughter to our family and that she is a very special spirit.  It would be a miracle if we got a girl, since almost everyone adopting wants a girl and we already have 2 girls.  It is strange because as of April the Philippines no longer allows families to request either gender.  If we could have made a request it probably would have been for a boy.  I still feel that we might be getting a girl and a boy as a sibling pair, especially after what my mom told me when I talked with her today.  I called to tell her about my dream, because I knew, out of anyone else I could share it with, that she would understand.  I was very surprised to find out that she also had a very similar dream just a couple nights before I had mine.  Hers was also so vivid that she knew she needed to write it all down so she wouldn’t forget any of the details.  She told me she has never had a dream like this before and knew there was something very significant about it.  I asked her to send me a copy of what she wrote, but for this blog I will just write down a few of the main details I can remember.

In her dream she was also in a very dark room and she was having a baby.  Nobody knew she was having it and nobody else was in the room except for my dad.  She just had a couple of contractions with little to no pain and than one push and the baby was out.  The baby was wrapped in a very soft blanket.  She knew it was supposed to be a girl but when she pulled the blanket back, it was a boy.  She kept thinking it was such a small baby and asked how much it weighed.  It was 7lbs 1oz and for some reason my mom knew that was a significant number.  She knew that the baby was much smaller than that.  She asked my dad what his name should be, but he said that they had no names picked out.  She then said that because he was such a special baby that his name should be Gabriel, like the angel, because he was an angel, and they would call him Gabe for short.  

I got the chills when my mom told me her dream.  It was just way too similar to my own.  I am almost certain that it too relates to our adoption.  I guess only time will tell.  I have thought of lots of different ways to interpret these dreams, but the one thing I know for sure is that these two kids are very special and I feel very blessed that they may be a part of our family.  I also feel very blessed that the lord would give me the gift of these dreams so I can begin to feel connected to my children.  Adoption is so much harder than pregnancy, because when you have a baby growing inside of you it is so much easier to feel a bond and a connection beginning to grow and continue to grow every day.  With adoption, all you have is paperwork and waiting, and it is really easy to forget the reason you are doing all of it.  Now I know we have a daughter and maybe a son as well, and they now actually feel tangible to me.  I feel a connection I never thought I could feel for someone who I have never even seen.  It will be very interesting to see how everything turns out in the end.  I just really felt that I needed to write all of this down so I could look back and remember the great love the lord has for me in blessing me with such a wonderful gift.

Canada Here We Come

Even though our social worker told us to go ahead and get the NBI clearance done, I emailed our agency this week to find out if there was any possible reason that we really needed to, because I was so not looking forward to doing it.  I was really hoping Wide Horizons would email back that we absolutely do not need it, because that is what they told us to begin with.  Well, they said to go ahead and “try” to get it done, because as of right now the USCIS is not accepting applications that just have a letter from ICAB attached stating that the Philippines does not have a child abuse registry.  They are saying it is not good enough and that they want the NBI clearance done.  Our agency is hoping they will relent on that eventually, but who knows when that will be, so they are still telling people not to get it done.  I think they told me to go ahead and do it, first just to see if it can be done (they seem to think that it can only be done in person in the Philippines) and second because they realize (as I made sure to point out in my email to them) how extremely unhappy I would be if it turned out that we did need it and didn’t have it when we could have been spending the last couple of months working on getting it done.  

I have done a lot of research on the internet on how exactly to go about getting this done.  They sure don’t make it easy to find the information.  What I found out is that if you live close to a Philippine Consulate than it is pretty easy to do, but if you don’t then you are basically screwed.  If you live close to one than all you need to do is bring in a passport size photo of yourself and a check for $25.  They have you fill out the application and then fingerprint you and sign and stamp your application.  You then mail it to the NBI in Manila with a certified check for $4.  That’s it-pretty easy I would say.  Now if you are unfortunate and don’t live close to a consulate than you have to mail in a request for the application and fingerprint form(certified mail $10) and wait around to receive it.  Then you take that to the police department to get your fingerprints done($15).  Next you have to take it to get notarized, but that is not good enough, you also have to then mail it(certified mail $10) to your secretary of state to get the notary certified($15).  Then you have to mail(certified mail $10) everything back to the consulate to get authenticated($25) and then they mail it back to you with their stamp of approval.  You then mail everything to the NBI in Manila($4 plus whatever certified shipping is).  I don’t have a clue how long all of this would take to get done and I don’t really want to find out.

Unfortunately for us, we do not live close to a consulate.  The closest one is in Vancouver, Canada which is 2 hours away, but we don’t know if we can get it done there because we are not officially under their jurisdiction.  We are under the jurisdiction of the consulate in San Francisco which is 16+ hours away.  My brother just happens to be on a business trip in San Francisco this week, so I had him pick up the application and fingerprint form for us.  That will at least take care of the first step.  We decided yesterday that we are going to go to Canada on Monday to see if there is any way they will let us complete it there.  That would save us so much time, work, and money.  I don’t know how important this jurisdiction thing is, but I am praying that it doesn’t matter for the NBI clearance.  

If the Canada plan doesn’t work out then we may just try getting the application filled out and fingerprints done and then mailing it to the NBI in Manila.  On their website it never said anything about all the other steps, I found that out on the consulate websites.  Then if that doesn’t work we will have to go back and complete all the steps.  I guess we will have time to work on all the other steps while we are waiting for our response to come back from Manila.  Anyway, that is our plan for now.  I guess we will just see how things go.  Nothing has been easy with this adoption, so I am not expecting this to go smoothly either.  If the Vancouver Consulate turns us down at least it won’t be a wasted trip.  We are planning some fun things to do while we are there.  We might even stay the night and spend a couple of days there.  It has been a few years since we have been there, so it is about time we go again anyway.   

Nine Months

9 months - The amount of time it takes to have a baby and also the amount of time it has taken us so far to complete our home study.  I was hoping this post was going to be one of excitement and joy at being able to share the news that it is finally complete.  This is not the case, however.  We had to meet with our social worker one more time on Monday because of the new Hague rules.  It wouldn’t have been too bad if her office wasn’t an hour+ away and if we could have found someone to watch the kids.  Luckily for us the meeting didn’t last too long and the kids behaved pretty well.  Our social worker told us that in her 20 years of doing adoptions ours has been her most difficult.  She said that our agency was still working on getting a letter from the Philippines for the child abuse clearance portion for the USCIS, but that they are unsure if the USCIS will accept it because some other agencies are telling their clients to get the NBI clearance done.  I had a feeling it was going to turn out this way and should have just gone with my gut instinct to begin with and worked on getting the NBI despite what our agency told us.  Our social worker told us to go ahead and just try to get it done just in case, after they get this mess sorted out, that we end up needing it after all.  I hate feeling like everything is out of our hands, so at least now it can feel like we are doing something other than waiting around for our agency, ICAB, and USCIS to make some decisions.  Jason is also going to attach to the USCIS form the letter he received from his mission president when he was released which states that he served an honorable mission while in the Philippines.  We are hoping that, along with our attempts to get the NBI clearance, it will be enough to get our I-800 form approved with the USCIS and get scheduled for fingerprinting.  

Another bit of frustrating news from our social worker was that, because our home study has taken so long to complete, we have to redo a lot of things that have expired.  At the time our home study is submitted, our state criminal and child abuse checks can be no longer than 3 months old and the FBI check can be no longer than 6 months old.  Most people finish their home study within 1-2 months, so I don’t think our social worker even thought about these things.  It has been well over those time frames and this is the first we have heard about it.  The Washington checks are pretty easy and come back within just a couple days, so we have those finished already.  For the FBI check we had to go and get fingerprinted again at the police station and then get a certified check to mail off with our request.  That could take a couple weeks or more to get back.  We had a pretty stressful day yesterday trying to get everything done.  Jason has been working tons of overtime, so this was the last weekend we had available for probably the rest of the summer.  To make things more stressful, we also decided we needed to get the girls a bunk bed after Eva slept so much better, during our trip last week, on a bigger bed.  Somehow we managed to get everything done, even with me forgetting my license at home and not realizing it until we got to the Everett Police Department 2 hours before they closed, and then having to drive all the way back to Lake Stevens, during the worst traffic time of day, to get it and then all the way back to Everett again.  We ended up getting two sets of fingerprints done for each of us, because we also learned from our social worker that our home study has to be updated every year since we are adopting from the Philippines.  We could have gotten a couple more sets, but in a couple years it might be nice to do it again to help us feel like we are doing something other than just waiting.

The other big thing we did this weekend was to get our Dossier finished and mailed off to our agency.  Most people submit this after their home study is finished, but we figured since it was done we might as well send it off and find out if we are missing anything.  I guess they will just have to hold on to it until our home study is finished, whenever that will be.  I am kind of getting use to all of the setbacks now, so nothing really surprises me anymore.  I’m sure there will be something else, but at least we know we are in good hands and the Lord knows what He is doing.  I know one day I will look back on everything He has put us through and finally understand the reasons.  I think if we had known how hard this was going to be from the beginning that we would not have done it. That is probably why we were into this too deep to get out of by the time we found out that all the odds were against us.

Before I end this post I just want to add one more thing to end on a positive note.  The family who is adopting the sibling group that we were first interested in showed up on the Yahoo adoption group I am part of.  They are getting ready to pick them up in August or September.  We have been emailing back and forth and they sent me some photos and videos of the kids.  This is a great blessing to me to know they are going to such a wonderful family and to be able to have them share their excitement and experience with me.  It makes me very excited for the day we get our referral and then to meet our child for the first time.  It seems like forever to wait, but I know the time will fly by and everything will work out beautifully.

Purple Like Me

Last time we met with our social worker I remember her telling us that little kids have a really hard time understanding race or even realizing that there are any differences.  She was trying to help us understand that our children have no idea now what it will be like to have a sibling of a different race be part of our family.  I personally think that kids understand much more than we give them credit for, sometimes they even understand things better than us grown-ups.

When Breanna was just 2 years old I started looking at foster-to-adopt programs.  I found some websites with photos of children in our area that were waiting to be adopted.  One day I was showing her a photo of an African-American boy on the page and asked her if she would like him to be her brother.  She looked at the picture and then said “no, him not purple like me”.  She said this for every boy that was not white.  I’m not sure why, but at that time she thought that she had purple skin.  I thought it was interesting that at such a young age she already understood skin color differences.  I wish that at that time she could have told me why she thought he couldn’t be part of our family though.

Since November we have been talking to her about adopting a brother or sister from the Philippines.  I have showed her many pictures of kids from the Philippines.  At first she seemed ok with the idea, but one day she asked me how they could be a Stewart if they didn’t have the same skin color as us.  She was looking at our family picture at the time, and I think it just dawned on her that we all weren’t going to look the same so we couldn’t be a family.  I had to explain to her that there are many different types of families and that not all have a mommy and daddy and that everyone in the family can look different but still be a family.  I went to the LDS International Adoption Yahoo Group website and showed her pictures of the families that are part of the group.  There were many on there who had adopted kids from several different countries.  I told her the name of the family and where the kids were adopted from and that once they were adopted they become members of the family.  I think she really started to understand and she hasn’t really said anything else about it since.  Sometimes she says she doesn’t want a baby brother but wants a dog instead.  Jason made sure to remind her that even if we weren’t adopting she still wouldn’t get a dog.

The picture above is one that Breanna drew at church in our primary class.  The lesson was on families and I had the kids trace their hands and then draw each of their family members on the fingers.  Breanna finished hers with the 4 members of our family and then realized that there was still one finger left.  At first she told me she was going to draw a dog, because she really wants one.  When she gave me her picture though I was surprised to find that instead she had drawn her baby brother from the Philippines.  I thought it was interesting how she made sure to color his face different than the rest.  I guess she does want a brother more than a dog after all.

One more story before I end this post.  On Saturday Breanna was helping me go through her and Eva’s clothes.  We were picking out the ones that didn’t fit anymore and putting them in a big bag.  I told her we would save them just in case we end up getting a girl from the Philippines.  She looked at me confused and said “We aren’t getting a girl because we already have 2 girls, that is why we ordered a boy.”  I had to sit her down and explain first of all that we didn’t order anything and second that we requested either a boy or girl.  I said that they might give us a boy because they will see that we already have 2 girls and most people adopting want girls. We won’t be sure until we get our referral which is still 3 years away or so.  She said if we get another girl than we will have to adopt 3 boys so that we will have the same of each.  At this point I don’t think Jason is ever going to want to go through this process again, but I guess only time will tell.

Good News and Bad News

Well the good news is that I found out that we do not need to get the NBI clearance done.  I emailed the program director for the Philippines at our adoption agency and asked her about it.  She said that there is no child abuse registry in the Philippines and that they are trying to get ICAB to write a letter stating such to attach to everyone’s home study that needs the Philippines clearance.  The bad news is that they are having a difficult time getting ICAB to write this letter and without it USCIS will not accept our application.  She told me they will get the letter but she has no idea when.  We were told that we can go ahead and finish our home study once all of our other clearances come back and then just have our social worker write in the home study that we have verbal confirmation from ICAB that no such registry exists and that a letter will be coming.  They think this will be good enough to be able to submit our I-800a and get our appointment for fingerprinting in Yakima.  Hopefully by then they will have gotten the letter and everyone will be happy.  

I am just so relieved that we will not need to do the NBI clearance.  That was turning into such a nightmare and would have set us back who knows how long-a couple of months at least.  We will be submitting our dossier this week for our adoption agency to look over to make sure we have everything we need and that it is all correct.  They will then have to wait until our home study is finished to send it on to the Philippines.  It looks like now that might just be a couple of weeks.  Unless something major happens between now and then, hopefully the next time I post it will be to say that our home study is finished. 

Government Phone Calls

I have just spent the last two days trying to get ahold of someone from the San Francisco Philippine Consulate to get a form that Jason needs for his background check from the Philippines.  I found out from a Philippine adoption yahoo group I am part of that Jason needs to get an NBI(National Bureau of Investigation) clearance check done for his child abuse clearance. In order to get this done we need a form from our nearest consulate which we found out is San Francisco.  I found out yesterday that there is one in Vancouver, Canada.  I told Jason we should just drive the 2 hours there and get the forms on Monday.  After hours of trying to get ahold of someone there, I found out that I have to get the form from the consulate in San Francisco because we are under their jurisdiction.  I really don’t understand this, because I am almost positive it is the same form and there is nothing else they have to do for us except to give us this form.  We have to then get fingerprints done from our local police and then send the form on to the NBI in Manila along with more money and passport photos of Jason.  

It would have been so easy to just drive there, get the form, drive home, get fingerprints done, and send the form to Manila all in one day.  Now we have to wait, who knows how long, to get in contact with someone who can send us the form.  Then we have to wait, who knows how long, for them to actually send it and for us to actually receive it.  With our luck, considering how many things have been lost in the mail, this will take a long, long time.  

I started making calls at about 9am and have tried every half hour since then with no luck.  There are about a hundred different extensions to choose from and I have tried all the ones that even come close to relating to what I need, but no luck.  I have even tried the secretary and the operator.  This is the same thing I went through yesterday.  I have left several messages with different extensions with no response.  I have even sent out emails and nothing still.  I did check to make sure it wasn’t a holiday for them or something.  June 12th is their independence day, but they celebrate it on the closest Monday which is this coming Monday.  Maybe there aren’t very many people in the office because of it.  Maybe because it is Friday the 13th, and Filipinos are very superstitious, that nobody came in to work today.  Who knows.  All I know is that I am very, very frustrated right now.  

This is the last thing holding us up and it is what is going to take the longest to complete because it has to go to the Philippines and then back to us.  Our social worker is the one who should be doing all this paper chasing for us, but I am taking it into my own hands because I am tired of waiting around for things to be done.  This is a new process for her with all of the new USCIS policy changes.  I think a lot of people and agencies are pretty clueless and frustrated right now.  Jason is working a ton of overtime this month, so I am left alone to deal with all of this for him.  Here’s to hoping I have better luck on Tuesday.  Here’s to hoping also that all of our other background checks make it to where they’re going and then back to us quickly and with no problems. 

Police Station Visit

Today we had to go to the Everett Police Station to get our police clearance letter. It was actually pretty easy to obtain.  We just showed them our i.d., paid them a small sum, and in about 5 minutes they were done.  The girls had fun and got to pick out a stuffed animal out of the toy chest to take home.  I guess they get huge donations of stuffed animals on a regular basis, so any child that comes in gets to take one home.  The funny thing about this whole visit was that since I just had my wisdom teeth pulled a week ago, I had a huge bruise that went from the right side of my face all the way down my neck.  I kept joking around with Jason that they might have to keep him there for questioning after we walked in.  They actually didn’t even say anything at all about it.  

After the police station we had to go to the bank and get a ton of documents notarized to finish our dossier and all the background checks we need done now.  Once we get all of those done and figure out what needs to be done for the Philippine clearance then we can finally send everything in and be done for now.  

Child Acceptable Form

There is a form that you have to fill out when you are adopting internationally that lists all of the conditions and circumstances that you will or will not accept with your referred child.  I started filling out ours yesterday.  It seemed so strange and sad for me to check any of the will not accept boxes.  If I was pregnant and found out my child had something wrong with it, I would not reject my child.  I would love it and care for it regardless of any condition that it may have.  There are a lot of specific conditions that I know I am not prepared to deal with, but if it was my own child I would have to deal with it and I know that I could if I was put in that position.  I don’t know if other people have felt weird about this form, but I am having a really hard time with it.  I know everyone wants a healthy child, but what about all the children in the world who will never have a home or family because they are different.  

I have been putting this form off for one of the last things to do, because I thought is was going to be pretty easy.  I am finding out just the opposite and feel that I really need to do a lot more praying about it before I finish filling it out. It looks like I’ll have all the time I need, since it will still be a few weeks until we have all of our child abuse clearances done.

Against All Odds

We got a call from our adoption agency this week to talk with us about our home study.  We were told in the beginning that it will most likely take longer for us to get a referral because we are LDS, but I guess there is another issue that might hold us back even more than our religion.  Depression runs in Jason’s family and he has suffered with it on and off throughout his life and the first few years of our marriage.  He was on medication for a time and did receive some counseling.  He now has his problem under control and no longer needs meds or counseling and hasn’t for almost 2 years now.  Our agency told us that the Philippines has a big problem with adopting to anyone with mental issues and depression is one of those issues.  If Jason was still on meds or seeing a counselor then we would not even qualify for the program.  We  were not told any of this before we began this process.  They said that because he now has the problem under control that we can be part of the Philippine program but it may take even longer to get a referral because of it.  We asked them what the maximum amount of time could possibly be, but they were unable to give us that information.  It all depends on how many people that are applying for the program and what their circumstances are.  First priority goes to those with Filipino heritage and second priority seems to go to those who are Catholic or Protestant.  They said we will end up with a referral, but they just have no idea how long that will be.  They said it could be as long as 3 years or more.  They told us it might be a good idea to think about applying for a different country or try domestic adoption.  The thing is that we know our child is in the Philippines.  The Lord has made that very clear to us.  We just have to keep on hanging to that hope and know that even though it seems like all odds are against us right now, it will happen and He will bring our child home to us.  Even if we do have to wait 3 years or more for it to happen, I am ok with that.  I know people who have waited much longer than that for their child to come to them.  It will all be worth it in the end.  I just have to keep remembering that through all the discouraging times.

The Children of the Philippines

In the mist of all my frustration I thought it would be good to take a minute to remember the reason we are doing all of this.  There are so many children living on the streets in the Philippines.  With the world food crisis this situation is not going to get any better.  Many orphanages are having to turn away children, because they do not have the money to feed them. Government agencies are also starting to cut the amount of food they are donating because of soaring food prices. Although this is not the only reason we are doing this, it does make me feel better to know that we are saving at least one child from a life on the streets.  I just wish there was more we could do for these children.

Here is a video that was made for a fundraiser being coordinated by the Lutheran schools in Michigan.  They are raising funds to help Concordia Children’s Services to purchase  their own land.  Concordia is a 25-year-old orphanage in the Philippines and they do not have a permanent home.  The video shows photos of Philippine children on the streets and also those in the orphanage.  I love the music and the photos of the children at the end are beautiful.  Enjoy!

Road Block

You know how I said that our home study was finished, well now it’s not.  We just got a call from our social worker saying that because our adoption agency was just recently Hague accredited they now have to follow all of the new rules and policies.  Since our home study was turned in just after this took place we now have to follow those new policies.  One of these new policies is that we now have to complete a child abuse background clearance for every state or country we have resided in since we were 18.  When we got our Washington clearance done it took a couple of weeks, so I have no idea how long this is going to take.  I will need to do checks from Montana(where I worked for a summer) and also New York(where I served my mission).  Jason will need one from Tennessee(where he did his basic training for the Navy), Florida(where he was stationed), and the Philippines(where he served his mission).  MT and TN do not have child abuse registries, so we have to send notarized letters to them and hope that they can help us out.  I have no idea how we will get the Philippines check done.  Our social worker is still looking into that.

I couldn’t sleep at all last night because I am feeling so stressed and frustrated about all of this.  Just when we were starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone had to go and turn it off.  I know I need to trust the Lord and realize that this is all happening for a reason, but it is really hard to do when you are caught up in it.  I know that when we finally have our child in our arms I will look back on this and know the reasons why, but for now I just need to feel frustrated and vent for awhile.  We were so close.  All we had left to do was write our own letter of commitment to adopt and get some pictures printed.  I never thought we would have our dossier completed before our home study.  This is just crazy.  I can’t tell you how relieved we will feel when we are finally finished with all of this.  I am just hoping that this is the last thing we will need to do.  I was really hoping to have everything finished this week, because I am getting my wisdom teeth pulled on Monday and I know I won’t be feeling like doing much for a couple weeks after that.  I know we will get around this road block, just like we have all the others, I just wish I knew how long it was going to take. 

Good News

I have two bits of great news to share today.  First, our last reference letters made it to our social worker this week so we have received a draft of our home study today to look over.  Once we look through it and correct any errors then it will be sent on to our adoption agency.  Now all we have left to do is get 2 more reference letters and just a couple of other things done for our dossier and we are done-as far as all the paperwork goes anyway.  Once our adoption agency has our home study and dossier they will send it to the Philippines to get approval from ICAB which takes about 6 weeks, and then our 2 year wait for a referral will begin.

The other bit of great news I have is that the group of siblings that we wanted to adopt to begin with has finally been matched.  I still think about them a lot and have been praying that someone will adopt them soon, so it made me so happy today to see their photo in the matched children section instead of the waiting children.  I guess this shows that these really were not meant to be our kids and that the Lord knows what He is doing.  If we had pushed to adopt these kids we still would not have been able to do so.  You can’t request a match until your home study is completed.  It’s kind of interesting how it worked out that our home study was finished the same day that these kids were matched to someone else.

The Philippines

The Philippines is located in Southeast Asia, with Manila as its capital City.  The Philippine archipelago comprises 7,107 islands.  There are 80 languages spoken with Tagalog being the national language.  The Philippines has been governed both by Spain and by the United States.  You can see influence from both along with Malaysian influence in Filipino traditions, food, and language.  Religion is extremely important to Filipinos with Catholicism being the primary religion of the country. The people of the Philippines are known for their happy and friendly demeanor.  

The landscape in the Philippines is full of beautiful beaches, tropical forests, active volcanoes, coral waters, and green rolling hills.  

It’s hard to believe that in a country surrounded by such beauty there is so much poverty. Nearly one-third of Manila’s 10 million residents live in slums and squatter settlements.  It is no wonder that there are so many children given up for adoption in the Philippines.   

Adoption Requirements

Below is a list of all of our adoption requirements.

All God’s Children Home Study Required Documents:

AGCI Client Rights Statement

AGCI Grievance Policy

AGCI Fee Schedule

Post Placement Schedule

Home Study Agreement

Criminal Record Check for each applicant

Child Abuse Record Check for each applicant

6 Reference Letters (co-worker, neighbor, friend, spiritual leader, and two different family members)

Personal Profile for each applicant (included around 200 questions)

Financial Worksheet

Bank Letter Verifying Account Standings

Employment and Income Confirmation from Employer

Guardianship Statement

Medical (for each applicant and all children)

AGCI Client Information/Consent for Services

Copy of Birth Certificate for all family members

Copy of Marriage Certificate

Copy of most recent Form 1040 Federal Tax Return

Photo of Applicants and Children

Military Discharge Form

Proof of Life Insurance

Proof of Health Coverage

Verification of Residency for last 5 years

Wide Horizons For Children Documents:

Application

Release of Confidential Information

Policy Guidelines for Adoption

Adoption Services Agreement

WHFC & Prospective Adoptive Parents Mutual Responsibilities 

Fee Agreement

Problem Resolution Procedure

Documentation Update Agreement

Post Placement Agreement

Insurance Affidavit

Medical Statement for each family member

WHFC Pre-Adoption Education (12 hours)

Interagency Agreement on the Placement of Older Children

Service Providers Worksheet

Philippine Intercountry Adoption Board(ICAB) Dossier Requirements:

Bank or Certified Check for $2,700 

Photographs of Prospective Adoptive Parents, Extended Family and the Home

ICAB Application Form

Type of Child Acceptable to Family Form

Personal Letter of Commitment to Adopt a Child

One Original of Birth Certificate for Each Applicant

One Medical Statement for Each Person Living in the Home

One Physician Letter for Each Applicant

One Psychological Evaluation per Family

One Original of Marriage Certificate

One Police Letter per Family

One Priest, Minister, or Rabbi Recommendation Letter

One Employer Recommendation Letter

One Friend Letter Of Recommendation

Guardian Letter

One Copy of Pages 1-2 of Most Recent 1040 US Income Tax Returns

In addition to all of that we also have to file an I-600A Petition with the US CIS which we have to get fingerprinted for in Yakima.

We also have to get passports so we will be able to pick up our child when the time comes.  I just got mine in November 2007. Jason has his but will need to get it renewed since it expires in 2010.

As of April 1, 2008 because of the new Hague Convention policies we must now file an I-800a instead of the I-600a form.  With this new form also comes new home study requirements.  We now need child abuse clearances from every state or country we resided in since the age of 18.

Here is a list of what we have had to get done since April 1, 2008:

Child abuse clearances from Florida, Tennessee, Utah, Montana, New York, and the Philippines(NBI Clearance)

Since our home study has taken so long we have had to redo these things that expired:

FBI clearances

Washington State Criminal checks

Washington State Child Abuse registry checks

Medical Exams for all of us

Federal Tax Return Form

Letter from Jason’s counselor